Cooler Than Me
by NekoNamii99
Summary: You'd think by now, the whole "popular kids" and other phrases for the "cool kids" would be dead in most high schools nowadays. No one thinks of people as being "popular", right? Wrong. Prime example? Axel Sinclair.  AU, complete, no sex.. just mackin'


(AN: I suggest you listen to the song first before reading this. I guess. Whateva 3 "Cooler than Me" by Mike Posner. .com/watch/?v=AoHaDrifdbU )

You'd think by now, the whole "popular kids" and other phrases for the "cool kids" would be dead in most high schools nowadays. No one thinks of people as being "popular", right? Wrong. Prime example? Axel Sinclair. Why do I say this? Well.. because he's Axel.

Axel Sinclair is the kind of guy that doesn't take shit from anyone. He's the kind of guy that just chills all the time, and doesn't give a shit about what people say about him. He's naturally talented in everything he does, and just happens to be on the "hot as hell" side as well.

He's virtually perfect.  
>Right?<p>

I guess Axel and I think alike academically – we've been the same classes together for almost all 4 years of high school. Currently, out of all eight classes, we have Senior Writing, Darkroom Photography, Physics, AP Calculus, and a study hall together. I can recall mornings where he didn't show up, and I realized my day was going to be less exciting. So, after so many years of being around him almost everyday, I should know him pretty well, right? Well, not exactly.

He's the kind of kid that jokes with teachers all the time, and breezes through life. Is there a quiz on momentum coming up in Physics? He'll skip school that day, and show up later that week to take it. And get a perfect 'A'. Is he missing from his first period study hall, but show up for this Calculus class? Most likely, he was smoking pot in the school parking lot. All the "cool kids" do it.

But what got me the most, was catching him crying one day. I was walking out of the gym, and heard sniffling. I looked all around our school's red brick quad, but couldn't find the source. I decided to take a shortcut to the cafeteria by going out the back of the courtyard, and found Axel Sinclair, huddled in a ball, with small amounts of black eyeliner smudging around his eyes, black hoodie up, and green converse pulled to his bottom, slumped over his lanky limbs. His hair was limp, which was abnormal compared to the spiky mess he usually had it styled as. He peered over his arms up to me, and gave a slight glare before looking to the ground.

I wasn't sure what to do. _Should I stay and see if he's okay? Leave him be? Why should I help him? I don't even really know him._ I let my dark green army book bag thump to the ground, pulled up my skinny blue jeans, and sat down on the grass beside him. I flattened my baggy white collar shirt, and looked at the new Spring grass growing in front me me.

"What's up?" I ask. He scoffs. Some more sniffling, and then little bit of groaning, until he straightens up against the red brick wall.

"Nothing much. Just.. tired." he mumbles. He sprawled his long legs in front of him. He starts to pick at the grass in front of him, averting my gaze.

"What about..? you're obviously upset about something. So what's wrong?" I ask again timidly. I am so overstepping boundaries here. Three years of being in the same classes, and this is the first time I've talked to him directly.

"Just.. tired of being... me. Typical teenage crisis, you know?" he asks. He puts his hand against the brick wall for support as he stands back up. He reaches down for his black leather jaket, but I quickly grab it and put it to my right, out of his reach.

"What about?" I ask more persistently. There has to be a serious reason that Axel Sinclair is _crying_. He glares at me while reaching his hand out for his jacket. When I don't hand it to him, he sighs and leans against the brick wall.

"Identity crisis" he grumbles. He reaches up to wipe the tears and makeup off his face.

"What? Mid-life crisis this early? You're only what, sixteen? Seventeen? No way. You're Axel Sinclair. You don't have crisis's. Not in public, at least." I mutter the last sentence under my breath. He apparently heard it, and looked down at me with surprised eyes at me. I look up between my blonde bangs, and see his face paling a bit.

"I... I think I might...be.." he mutters, so grumbled that I can't hear the last word.

"What?" I question. I stand up, dreading the worst. Is he going to say suicidal? Depressed? Oh god, what have I gotten myself into.

"I.. I think I might be..." again, the word is mumbled. He looks down a small amount of red rushing to his cheeks.

"You really need to speak up, Axel." at the mention of his name, his eyes snap up. His jade green eyes look startled as he looks down at me. I get sort of embarrassed, and look away quickly after making eye contact. "I can't help you if I don't know what's bothering you" I grumble.

He bends down to make his eyes level to mine, and puts one hand against the brick wall behind me. He looks into my eyes for a few second, his expression flashing between anger and anguish. "I think I might be gay" he says clearly. He reaches up with his other hand to hold my chin in place, and plants a soft peck on my lips. I'm too startled to move. I gasp and try to take a step back, only to literally back up into a wall. I don't know what to do. I look down, trying not to make eye contact."Don't tell anyone" he says sternly, before snatching his jacket from the ground and heading to the cafeteria.

"Roxas!" I yell at him. "my name is Roxas!" I can't decide if I want to sound angry or happy.

"I know" he replies. He pulls out a pair of aviator sunglasses from his back pocket, slips them on, pulls back his hair into a loose ponytail, and stalks off. Completely forgetting our 'conversation'.

That was the last time I talked to Axel Sinclair. That was a year ago. We see each other every day, in almost every class, yet we never talk, not even so much as look at each other. I haven't told anyone about his... inner crises, and I don't think I ever will. No one would believe me anyways.

So now I find myself sitting in my first period study hall, Monday morning, with nothing to do. As any sane teenager would do, I decide to sleep. I lay my head down on the fake wooden desk, cross my ankles, close my eyes, and let myself drift off. I find that sleeping in school, as discouraged as it is, really does help me get through the day. It makes time go by faster, and I feel more and more refreshed every few minutes of extra sleep I get. Of course, I feel bad for the teacher, but I'm too tired to care.

"Sorry, I'm late. I'm supposed to be in this study hall" I hear. I peak up through my bangs to see Axel handing a pass to the teacher, and then turn on his heels to stalk over to my direction. I sit up and rub my eyes, trying to wake myself up. "Hey" I hear. I look up to see Axle smirking down at me, lowering his dark gray backpack to the white tiled floor. We haven't talk since... our thing, almost a year ago, and now, on a groggy Monday morning study hall, he decides to randomly talk to me? Is it because there's only two or three other people in the room? Or does he have the constant need to talk to someone, and I just happen to be someone he knows?

"H-hey" I mutter back groggily. I reach foreword, cracking my elbows and stretching my back.

"What time did you go to bed last night?" he asks.

"hum.. twelve thirty maybe? One? I dunno." I reply.

"Whoa. Why? Did you have a lot of homework or something?" he asks. I watch him reach into his backpack to pull out a few colored pieces of paper.

"Nah. We're in all the same classes,we have the same amount of homework. Which isn't too much." I reply. Hey, I know I sound kind of offending, but I'm tired and Roxas needs his sleep too.

"Oh, right. Stupid moment" he chuckles, flashing a perfect white smile my way. It's almost criminal how beautiful his smile is. Ugh.

"...so.. how was your weekend?" I ask. Might as well try to strike up some sort of conversation.

"It was fine. I did a lot of studying actually. Not much else." he said, reaching deeper into his backpack, only to pull out a graphing calculator.

"You _study_?" I said, with more malice in my voice then intended.

Axel slowly turns to look at me, a somewhat confused look on his face. "Yeah... I study everyday. That's how I get good grades. I try to focus on school more than anything else. Why, what do you do on weekends?" he questions.

"I sleep in. and play video games. And watch T.V. And hang with friends. Like normal people. Do you really study all weekend? I thought you were smart" I ask.

"you think being smart is all about being good in school? Well if you think that, then I must be really dumb. If I don't study, then I boarder-line fail almost every class. I almost did Freshmen year. So now I just.. study a lot". He says, turning back to his papers.

"and you still have homework?" I ask. I look over the sheets in front of him, seeing example problems from class a few days ago.

"Nah, it's not really homework. I just like to practice until I memorize how to do something. It's easier for tests and finals and stuff." he says. He turns away from me, pulls out a pencil from his pencil case, and begin working. I stare at the back of his head, confusion, disbelief and surprise all in one look on my face.

"Hold up. Come on Axel. we.. we need to chill for a little bit. Pack up your things." I say. I see his look up at me as I stand up, pass his desk, and head straight to the teacher. I hear him putting his things away, as I clear my throat. "Mister Dilan? Can Axel and I go to the Photography room? I need to develop a couple of photos for our Darkroom Photography class." I ask casually. The trick is, don't look like you're begging. But make sure you send a message of importance. This works for teachers and parents alike.

"You and Axel? Well... I trust you to take care of him, okay? No getting in trouble" he says, writing us passes on the small green pieces of papers.

"Thank you" I say with smile, toting Axel out of the drab classroom.

"Wow, nice" he says with another ravishing smirk. I cough a slight laugh and mutter thanks.

"So why do none of the teachers trust you? Did you do something?" I ask.

"Well.. yeah. I used to skip all of my study halls, just so I could sleep someplace peaceful. But then 'sleeping during study halls' turned into 'sleeping during gym' and 'sleeping during art' and stuff. Didn't work well with the teachers. So they don't usually let me leave classrooms for more than five or ten minutes. Kinda sucks, but I deserve it." he sighed, look at his feet while we walked down the brightly lit hall together.

"Oh.. why don't you just sleep at home?" I ask. The one who was just sleeping during my own study hall.

"Meh. I like to sleep better at school" he replied half heartily. I decided not to look too into it, as we walked into the crayon scented art room, too off our backpacks, and walked to the large black cylindrical door at the other end of the room.

"We have to be careful. And quiet. I don't want the teacher to know we're here." I say.

"Why not? Don't you have to develop some photos?" he asks jokingly, adding in a small chuckle. We walk into the confined space, and like a revolving door, entered the dark room. We already knew how the room was set up – table to the right, light switch to the left – yet I purposefully walked straight ahead, and sat on the floor. Axel set next to me. Letting out a sigh as he shuffled around into a comfortable position.

"So why don't really sleep at home?" I ask. We sit in silence for a moment, Axel trying to piece the words together.

"I.. I didn't used to have the greatest home life, Freshmen year. I stayed up most nights trying to protect myself from my parents. They used to fight a lot, and it mostly.. turned to me when things got ugly. I mean, things are a lot better now, I just.. I dunno. We're still not the picture perfect family I wish we could be, but it's much better than what it was before". He said. I start drawing little circles with my finger on the floor of the dark room, and accidentally hit Axel's hand. I don't even really know why I decide to do this, but I pick up his hand, and lace our fingers together. He squeezes my hand.

"I'm sorry" I say. His hand is kind of clammy. I still squeeze his hand back though.

"It's okay. Nothing to worry about anymore." he replies.

We sit in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, listening to the clock above our heads, holding hands, delaying the moment where I have to ask him why he did.. what he did last year. I give up though.

"Hey Axel? How come.." I lick my lips, trying to word it without sounding rude. "How come last year.. you kissed me? Like, what happened there?" I ask. I can feel my heart thumping out of my chest, my head getting a bit dizzy. We sit in silence for a couple more minutes. I hear Axel sigh. I can feel a few strands of hair whoosh pass my forehead as he turns to face me.

"I.. I've always sorta.. liked you Roxas. I mean, I just.. I was in a really bad place when you found me last year. I've been trying to bury that part of me for years, but when I first saw you, sitting in the corner of our first period Biology, Freshmen year, I just.. I dunno. This is going to sound so corny, but it just... really got me." Axel starts coughing a bit, and I can hear his lips smack as he tries to wet them. "this is so gay. I'm sorry. I just.. I really like you, but I can understand if you don't want to be with me. Hell, I don't even know if you like.. people, like me." he mumbled the last part, and tries to pull away from my hand. I clench tighter.

What should I say? 'yes, I've admired you and liked you since I first heard of you'? No, too lame. Ugh, brain! Think! Do something!

"I.. I like you too, Axel. I guess.. I've always thought that you thought you were.. I dunno, too cool to hang out with me or something. I mean, I know I'm a stud, but not nearly as much as you." I say jokingly, trying to cut through the tension in this dark room. He lets out a low chuckle, and relaxes his hand in mine.

"I'm happy" he says. We sit there for a moment, holding hands, when I finally sigh and decide 'fuck it'. I slip my hand out of Axel's, and feel around for him. I find him sitting with his back against the wall, his legs straight out. I crawl over to his side, and my hands to find his face. When I finally do, I give him a quick kids on his lips, and pull away.

"... What" is all I hear from the redhead. I kneel there, wondering how he's going to react. I feel an arm snake up my side to cup my cheek. He pulls me in for another innocent kiss. It soon grows more intense, as I feel his tongue slip into my mouth. I've got to be honest here, but I've never really made out with anyone before. So when I say that Axel's tongue was.. amazing, I can't really compare it to any other experience. I move my hand to the side of his head, and thread my finger through his crimson hair. I soon start to pant a little bit, and we have to pull away to breathe for a little bit. Axel chuckles as he attacks my mouth again, and I squeal with laughter.

All of a sudden, the lights flick on, and I tear my face away from Axel's to see three other kids standing at the revolving door. We stare at each other for a moment, trying to register what's going on.

"S-sorry, we weren't... I mean, y-you guys can... I.. I gotta go." Axel stammers, picking himself off the ground. And rushing past the students, and into the revolving door.

"Sorry" I say timidly, and try to catch up to Axel. By the time I reach the other side of the room, grab my things and open the door, I can see Axel running for the main entrance of the school. I pick up my pace, only to stand at the opening of our school, and see Axel jogging over to his car parked in the parking lot.

"Axel!" I scream._ There's no way_. I drop my things and book it for his car. There is no _way_ he's going to leave school because of this! I catch him as he starts his car up, about to back up. He stops when he sees me, and rolls his window down a bit. We make eye contact for a couple of seconds, before he says what I hope he wouldn't.

"I'm sorry. It never should have happened" he says. I stand there blankly as I watch him back out and drive away.

Stupid, stupid, STUPID! Why would you kiss him like that? You know he said he wasn't ready to! So why? UGH!

It's been over two weeks since Axel and I were discovered in the dark room. We haven't talked since then. Or looked at each other. Or even been on the same side of the room. Every time I see him in the halls or at lunch, I always see him with his friends, laughing away. He's taken to wearing his sunglasses, even inside. At least until teachers yell at him to take them off. He's also been late to school almost every day. He comes in with a large cinnamon scented coffee, and just takes a seat in the back like the cool guy he is. I guess I was right.

It wasn't until I bumped into one of his friends that things started changing. I was in line at lunch, when I accidentally dropped my napkins. As I bent to pick them up, I came face to face with no other than Demyx Myde. Well, what can I say about Demyx? He's.. the school "jokester". The goofball. The musician. The fantastic swim team captain. The "cute surfer-dude", as some put it. He flashes me his attractive half smile, and says "you're Roxas Strife, aren't you?" he asks.

I look up through my bangs to see his piercing blue eyes staring down at me. "Yes" I reply. I try to move around him, but he catches up and starts to walk with me to my usual table. "What do you want?" I ask, letting out a sigh.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you for a bit. About Axel." he says. He's still got the half smirk on his face, but his tone is completely serious. I sigh and consented into following him out to the auditorium, behind the cafeteria. I settle down into one of the chairs, and stark picking at my nasty cafeteria food.

"Axel.. he.. I know about you two in the dark room a couple of weeks ago. Hell, I'm pretty sure half the school knows. But, the things is.. Axel still hasn't exactly.. accepted who he is yet. And I feel like he thinks that he can't let anyone else know until he's sure. So, with you two being outed.. it was sort of a hard blow to him. It wasn't anything personal to you, just.. hard for him." Demyx looks down and starts to play with his hands. I try to look at him through his sparse blonde bangs, hoping he could sense my glare.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Demyx?" at this, he looks up. I bet he was expecting me to say 'oh, it's all okay, I understand.' no way. "I mean, really? He started all of this. I just reciprocated. Just because he's too wrapped up in what everyone else thinks of him, doesn't mean it justifies treating me the way he did to me. Can you imagine what you would do if someone ever did that to you? Make out with you, tell them they like you, and then once you're 'out of the closet', the run for the hills? And you're hoping I understand?" I'm shaking with fury at this point. I stand, grab my stuff, and head towards the exit. "I'm not his secret play thing. And I'm not going to care what anyone else thinks!" I yell back.

I throw my half eaten lunch into the trash, and head straight for my next period Physics class. I know Axel would be the first one there. He actually likes Physics. I walk into the room, and walk straight for his desk. He's slumped over,doing practice problems.

"Hey" I call out sternly. He looks up. I see the bags under his eyes, and also noticed he's switched his eyeliner from black to red. "I don't know what sort of story you told Demyx, but he just confronted me about you, saying that I should understand that you blew me off. Well, I'm not your secret Axel. So be a man, grow some balls, and stop thinking about what people think of you. You are who you are, and you have decide what it is you want in life." I reprimand. He bats his eyes a few times, trying to come up some sort of response. Before he does, I decide to let in one last kick to the balls. "and if you want me, then come get me. If you don't, then fuck off and leave me alone." I turn around a head for the doors. I put my and on the handle, and am about to turn it, when I feel a cold, large hand on my shoulder. I turn around to see Axel, his expression flashing between anger and regret.

"I'm sorry. I just.. I just freaked. You need to understand. I _do_ like you Roxas, I'm just not sure... what life will be like for me once I'm out. How I'll feel about myself. I just.. I dunno" he looks down, too ashamed to meet my gaze. I grab his arm on my shoulder.

"Axel. I've been out for years. And what bad has it gotten me? None. Nothing bad's happened. Yeah, I get the snicker or the teasing here and there, but it's no big deal. People aren't as big of dicks as you think they are." I say. I can't believe I'm trying to cheer him up. Ugh.

"Roxas.. I... just.." he looks me in the eyes, and leans in closer, until our eyes shut, and we're lightly kissing. The bell rings. I try to pull away, but Axel quickly wraps his hand around my waist and head, holding me in place.

"Axe-mh" I try to move away. The door opens behind me, as student start pour in. I hear some whistles and catcalls, and even some laughter and "oh my god!"s. He finally pulls away once the majority of the class is in their seats. "Axel! What they hell?" I seethe under my breath.

"You told me not to give a fuck about what people think. And you're right. Your not my secret. I really like you Roxas" he whispers.

I look around the room, and notice that the teacher hasn't shown up yet. "Come on" I say, grabbing Axel by hist wrist, and leading him out of the classroom.

"Where are were going?" he asks. He's not reluctant, but I know he's afraid of getting caught for skipping.

"Your car. We need to be alone for a little bit. We need to talk" I say. I let go of his wrist, trusting he'll follow. When we get outside, I shiver a bit at the cool February after-noon. As soon as we reach his car, I blast the heater, and turn the radio on low volume.

_"__you got designer shades,__  
><em>_just to hide your face and __  
><em>_you wear them around like, __  
><em>_you're cooler than me.__  
><em>_and you never say hey,__  
><em>_or remember my name.__  
><em>_its probably cuz, __  
><em>_you think you're cooler than me."_

I blink a few times, listening to these lyrics. "Axel" I say urgently. "This song.. this song is you." we stare at each other while the song runs it's course.

At the end of the song, he turns to me and says "no way. You're kidding me" he says, trying to laugh it off.

"You're kidding me, right? This... this is you. You can't even deny it. Like, the makeup? The sunglasses? Come on" I say.

"the sunglasses?" he asks. I see confusion on his face as he tried to think about all the times he's worn sunglasses. "oh, sunglasses. No, there's a reason for that." he says, blush creeping onto his cheeks. I raise an eyebrow, urging him to explain. "I.. I've really been wanting to talk to you for the past few weeks. so.. I wore sunglasses in class, so I could stare at you without know." he mumbles. His face is a new shade of red.  
>"you.. you what?" I ask incredulously. "I mean, I'm not offended by this, just.. why?" I ask.<p>

"Well, Roxas, I think well.. you're really pretty and I really like talking to you but I felt like such a dick for shoving you off but I still think it was the best thing to do in that situation and I just..." he lets in a large breath, "I really like you Roxas. I really do. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." he says.

I look him square in the eyes, trying to find some sort of falseness to his apology. When I can only find regret and pleas, I give in.

"Fine." I reply, "I forgive you. But you really need to grow some balls man. Stop.. well, stop thinking you're cooler than me" I chuckle.

"ha! You are SO funny Roxy!" Axel replies with fake humor.

I glare at him. "Roxy? Really?"

he laughs quickly before replying.

"Yes, dear". And kisses my sweetly on the cheek.

"I can live with that"

GUH. Done. I had this idea today, and I just really wanted to write this, so I did. Here you go.

I'm so sorry. I kind of want this to be longer, but my sister's kicking me off the computer.

So here you go. Have fun.

i''m sorry I suck. But mostly at writing. So.. here you go.

ALSO, I don't own "Cooler Than Me". Or Mike Posner. Or Roxas. Or Axel. Or Demyx. Unfortunatly.


End file.
